... > >1. "I demand a salary commiserate with my extensive experience." > >2. "I have lurnt Word Perfect 6.0 computor and spreasheet progroms." > >3. "Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year." > >4. "Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institutions." > >5. "Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave." > >6. "Failed bar exam with relatively high grades." > >7. "It's best for employers that I not work with people." > >8. "Let's meet , so you can 'ooh' and 'aah' over my experience." > >9. "You will want me to be Head Honcho in no time." > >10. "Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details." > >11. "I was working for my mom until she decided to move." > >12. "Marital status: single. Unmarried. Unengaged.Uninvolved. No >commitments." > >13. "I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse." > >14 "I am loyal to my employer at all costs....Please feel free to >respond to my resume on my office voice mail." > >15. "I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely no one >and absolutely nothing." > >16. "My goal is to be a meterologist. But since I possess no training >in meteorology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage." > >17. "I procrastinate, especially when the task is unpleasant." > >18. "Personal interests: donating blood. Fourteen gallons so far." > >19. "As indicted, I have over five years of analyzing investments." > >20. "Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain >store." > >21. "Note: Please don't misconstrue my 14 jobs as 'job-hopping'. I >have never quit a job." > >22. "Marital status: often. Children: various." > >23. "Reason for leaving last job: They insisted that all employees >get to work by 8:45 am every morning. I couldn't work under those >conditions." > >24. "The company made me a scapegoat, just like my three previous >employers." > >25. "Finished eighth in my class of ten." > >26. "References: none. I've left a path of destruction behind me." > >