...(c) copyright 1994 by someone else.

I took exception to your recent
___ post in this newsgroup
___ email

It was (check all that apply):

___ lame.
___ stupid.
___ much longer than any worthwhile thought of which you may be capable.

Your attention is drawn to the fact that:

___ what you posted/said has been done before.
(Mark only if above checked)
___ Not only that, it was also done better the last time.
___ your post/letter was a pathetic imitation of every other form of this type
___ your post contained commercial advertising.
___ your post/letter contained numerous spelling errors.
___ your post/letter contained multiple grammatical errors.
___ YOUR POST CONTAINED EXCESSIVE CAPITALIZATION AND/OR PUNCTUATION!!!!!
___ your post/letter was an obvious forgery.
(Mark only if above checked)
___ It was done clumsily.
___ your system has a stupid name.
___ you quoted a posting and added no new text.
___ you quoted a posting and only added ___ lines of text.
___ you quoted a posting and only added the line "Me, too!!!"
___ you predicted the "Imminent Death of the Net[tm]".
___ you asked for replies via email because you "don't read this echo".
___ you flamed someone who has been around far longer than you.
___ you flamed someone who is far more intelligent and witty than you.
___ And considering who you flamed, that's sad.
___ your lines are 80 columns wide or wider.
___ your .sig is longer than four lines.
___ your .sig is ridiculous because (check all that apply):
___ you listed ___ snail mail address(es).
___ you listed ___ phone numbers for people to use in prank calls.
___ you included a stupid disclaimer.
(Mark only if above also)
___ your pathetic attempt at being witty in the disclaimer failed.
(Mark only if above also)
___ Miserably.
___ you included:
(Mark all that apply)
___ a stupid self-quote.
___ a stupid quote from a net.nobody.
___ lame ASCII graphic(s) (Choose all that apply):
___ USS Enterprise
___ Australia
___ The Amiga logo
___ Company logo
(Mark only if above also)
___ and you stated that you don't speak for your employer.
___ Bicycle
___ Bart Simpson

Furthermore:

___ You have greatly misunderstood the purpose of debate
___ You have greatly misunderstood the purpose of echomail.
___ You are a loser.
___ You must have spent your entire life in a box to be this clueless.
___ This has (probably) been pointed out to you before.
___ It is recommended that you: (Mark all that apply)
___ stick to local BBSing and come back when you've grown up.
___ find a volcano and throw yourself in.
___ get a gun and shoot yourself.
___ stop reading mail and get a life.
___ stop sending email and get a life.
___ consume excrement.
___ consume excrement and thus expire.

Thank you for your sterling illustration of the wonders of inbreeding.