...How many people does it take to change a searchlight bulb?

I was in the grocery store. I saw a sign that said "pet supplies". So I did. Then I went outside and saw a sign that said "compact cars".

The sky already fell. Now what?

I wear my heart on my sleeve. I wear my liver on my pant leg.

When I was in boy scouts, I slipped on the ice and hurt my ankle. A little old lady had to help me across the street.

My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere.

Smoking cures weight problems... eventually...

I xeroxed my watch. Now I have time to spare.

I took a course in speed waiting. Now I can wait an hour in only ten minutes.

I moved into an all-electric house. I forgot and left the porch light on all day. When I got home the front door wouldn't open.